Here is a situation, you found out that your child bullied someone in school, the school authorities portrays evidences and you cannot believe it, so you start to defend your child saying that he/ she is not that way, and that he/she has not even lifted a finger and finally the matter is somehow solved and done with. Later one day, you go to a park and you catch your child’s aggressive behavior red handed, you are in shock! You think about what happened in school that day and you are pretty upset of what you witnessed.
Now, how does a parent go about handling this situation which is so unexpected?
- First of all it is significant to understand, what is the cause of your child’s negative behavior. Sometimes, children respond when asked but there are times when they really don’t tell you, that’s when you need to keep a watch. Child psychologists have found that children who are friendly and well behaved also tend to try aggressive behavior as a way of showing supremacy within their social groups. A child who is having a hard time getting along with others can also take on aggressive behavior like bullying. So, it is important to figure out what is the root cause of your child’s behavior.
- Keep your composure when dealing with such issues, the more you freak out the more difficult it is going to get to communicate with your child and your child is going to have the wrong response towards you. Which means in the future he/she would start to adopt other unacceptable actions, like lying and hiding the truth. If the child gets afraid or upset with your reaction then things would get harder to control in the future. In short, stay calm!
- Have a clear understanding towards your child’s behavior which means if the child has been caught bullying there are certain terms you use when dealing with his teachers and talking to the parent involved, abusive or destructive language is not the way to go. The point is to make sure everyone present has understood how serious the problem is…
- Avoid using the term “bully.” The point is to not label a child for their behavior.
- Do not beat around the bush and be clear about your child’s unacceptable behavior.
- Do not hesitate to take help of a pediatrician or a counselor to help correct the child’s behavior.
- It is important for the child to understand the consequences of his/her actions for their intolerable behavior.
As parent keep in mind that things won’t change overnight. Even after all your efforts, if you still find repetitive behavior, do not panic and remember change takes time.
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