We tell ourselves not to make the same mistakes and end up repeating it. We teach our kids what is right from wrong, and don’t realize we do the same. The harsh truth!
At the end of the day, are we really teaching our kids? Or leaving them utterly confused about themselves. I always say, we call ourselves mature adults and end up doing the most stupidest things in life, even though “we know” what we did was stupid. So, why are we doing this? It’s pretty simple…We call ourselves “grown up” but we have really NOT. I know, for those who are reading this, some of you might think “Yeah, it’s true, and for those with their supreme ego, might be struggling to accept this fact, but you know deep down in your hearts, it is right! Take a look at yourselves, as a child we tend to be more free, outspoken, energetic, positive and driven, but as we grow older, external pressures make us, timid, procrastinate, confused and lost. And as we try to gather ourselves together our actions lose focus and we end up making mistakes. Then how do we nurture our kids to a better future by being the best parents?
As parents we are always giving what’s best for our children, making sure we cover every possible need for our child’s development, be it health, education, leisure, etc. To all the parents out there; “Each of you are special in your own way, and your child loves you for it. “You are your child’s best!” Now how to avoid making these silly mistakes, and ensure right child growth.
- Do not indulge in inappropriate habits.
Example, you just recently taught your child digging their nose is wrong, and one of the days he/she caught you doing the same. You just got caught, get ready to answer them when they put forth a question on bad behavior? Lying is not acceptable in front of a child. So, next time use the washroom. Stay alert, be careful what you do around your kids. After all, we are their role models they look up to.
- Answer your child’s question
A child of 2-6 years of age can learn up to 10 different languages. Therefore, parents have to be very careful what they speak in front of them. After all asking questions is a part of their language development and as parents we are obliged to answer their questions.
Example, your child asks you; “how many stars are there in the sky?” And you might be busy, when he/she comes up with the question, or you don’t know the answer to it. General reaction; you might just distract your child by saying something else or say; “I will tell you later,” and not come back to it. Now, this is what is happening to your child after your response. Your child is at an age where he/she is curious about everything, and that is normal. It only shows your child is growing well. An unanswered question results in more unnecessary questions, leaving your child in a confused state of mind in the future. So, if you have told them that you will get back, you have to get back with the answer. If you don’t know, you can respond saying; “let’s find out together.”
Now if the child asks you things that leave you stunned, you are still obliged to answer them and it is also important to figure out the source of their doubts.
- Saying “Sorry”
Yes, the three magic words, sorry, please and thank you are words your child should learn how to express, and say in appropriate situations. The reason behind my focus on the word “sorry” is that, when children grow into young adults they are hesitant to use this expression, even though they are wrong. This shows that their inner ego is at work and they do not accept their mistake, even though in their heart, they know they are responsible. They feel saying sorry is a way of bowing down in defeat. So they refrain from using it, leading to uncertain fury. The reason they are called magic words is because these words weigh significance and value. What we need to teach our kids is the value of using them. And that accepting their mistakes, make them better people and helps to maintain important relationships.
- Listen to what you say
Sayings like, “When I was your age, if I were you…blah…blah…blah.” Well that age was a complete different world and your child is experiencing it differently. The world is changing and change is constant and from the time your child steps into this world they are adapting to change and so are you. So if your child is stuck in the “somewhat same situation” as you, tell your experience but remember the approach will be different and not always the same. This way your child feels a sense calmness, that they are not the only one and see them face challenges with confidence.
- Let Go
Being a parent is not easy, and our child is like a precious flower, we want them to always bloom without withering away. But remember, a flower that withers blooms back again. There are times in which your child has to take certain decisions or actions by themselves, as parents we can’t interfere all the time, all we can do is support. So, if your son/ daughter comes up to you saying, they have decided to do something, and you very well know this is going to give your child a chance to explore new boundaries and make them better adults and have an experience of a lifetime…and as parents because you are being protective, you deny them that opportunity? It’s a miserable thing to do for your kids. Learn to let go where you have to and have faith in your kids, as parents I assure you won’t be disappointed.
Handling kids has never been easy, throwing tantrums, likes and dislikes, wants and needs, it’s a constant pressure, and aside from this we have our eyes and ears around the house. Kids retaliating is a very common issue, if handled right, understanding gets easier. Anytime you are stuck in a situation like this, tell yourself “We are a child first and then an adult.” As parents we can control external surroundings to a certain extent, but not completely. Give your child the confidence to accept difficulties head strong and advise them on how to get through. In some cases you as a parent can help and sometimes you need to let go and let your child handle it.